I just came came back from a Reiki session that went on for like 70 min. In the south of Stockholm there’s a place called Crea Diem which I found online in a spontaneous whim. I think my body knew that I needed this today. It was my birthday yesterday and every year has its ups and downs. All emotions were enhanced when I woke up this morning after. I always carry around a huge sorrow and melancholy in my chest which is hard to describe, and I guess I am not sure why either. Sometimes I think it’s just the combination of being a scattered Pisces with Libra moon. The struggle of the two fishes swimming in opposite directions for as long as I can remember.
The Reiki healing itself was exactly what I needed today to balance myself on these emotional days. After the session I was talking to the guy who performed the healing, and he was telling me what I should think about so I don’t get so low and all in my head with these thoughts and feelings. I didn’t need to tell him about my pain, it was visible in my heart. I should stop listening to what everyone else thinks and feels about my life and start tuning inwards and listen to what I want, because that is the hardest thing for me. I always get lost on the way of listening to other people who don’t even know the half of my inner true voice. Can you really expect anyone to ever know you completely? One thing I have noticed though is that the few people who have given me Reiki healing have always gotten to know my inner struggle and what I’m battling with constantly. It’s amazing how you can hide some things from everyone subconsciously but not at all from the ones who have practiced with the energy. He has my respect. The Reiki master. 🙏🏽
When the pain in your heart is slowly dissolving and trying to go away, it doesn’t go quietly. Tears are needed to flush away all the pain and suffering from all the accumulated years. I already feel a little lighter today.
Jag måste få skriva ner lite tankar som dök upp medans Jonas Hassan Khemiri nämnde en sak på TV. Om en människa är vilsen eller förlorad, och inte har så många minnen kvar, skulle det synas på en kroppsscanning? Existerar minnen endast i min hjärna eller delar man minnen på en annan dimensionen med den man skapade minnena med? Om den person man skapat minnen med, inte existerar längre, försvinner även de minnena eftersom man är ensam om de nu?
It's been very inspiring to read other people's promises and goals to accomplish during the next coming year. I want to take a moment and document at least some of the things I would like to do and complete during the year of 2017. Without goals and something to look forward to it's easy to just get stuck in a wheel of the same mundane things.
(The list is not ordered chronologically.)
Travel. A weekend in Berlin, London and Scotland is already on my list for short 3-4 day trips. Other trips will be planned depending on plans and/or business plans and vacations.
Vipassana meditation. I really hope that I will be able to complete a Vipassana during a trip to India or in Sweden. I believe it might be more possible with India since I can go during next winter. I don't think there will be time for that during summer in Sweden; and I want to have good weather when I go to the Vipassana centre. I'd rather have that experience alone but I'll ask a friend or two if they want to join. Share the experience.
Writing my book. I have had a long break from my book writing due to personal reasons. I need to reevaluate my story direction and almost start over my writing, unfortunately. I will make a plan for the book during my current India trip now in December 2016.
Meditate daily. I know I've been having this on my list for ages, and it comes back every now and then, but it's crucial for my mental health to wind down and be peaceful on the inside.
Exercise 2-3 times a week. Yoga, Pilates and weight training.
Improve my stamina by starting to jog. Apply for a 5km run with a friend to have as a goal.
Practice to be more mindful.
Watch Darren Hayes' musical in London or somewhere in Europe whenever he is finished with it.
See the one-man-band Assemblage 23 live for the first time (of many). Waited for around 8-9 years. Those lyrics he writes are some of the best in the genre of futurepop/EBM.
Practice riding a bike and become more confident again. It's been years since I knew how to, and I guess you never really forget, I just need to be good at driving it in traffic as well.
I don't plan on taking my driver's license during 2017, but I plan on practicing driving again and be more confident in traffic. I knew how to 2-3 years ago but that was before my laser eye surgery. Now I need to spend weekends every now and then to just get into the routine and then eventually when it's in my priority I will apply for and take the license.
What's your bucket list for 2017? Share and link to yours below so we can all take part and be inspired.
It’s been 10 years and this song is still very dear to me. Above and Beyond – Can’t Sleep. It has a depth to it that is hard to explain, it’s not a normal radio trance song that is lacking soul and emotion. The melody, the transition and the lyrics – all melt together to an amazing and beautiful track. If you haven’t heard it, or don’t listen to trance, which I don’t do much anymore, still, give it a try – it’s worth it. Some of the lyrics are posted below together with a link to the track on Youtube.
Peace and Love,
Four thirty A.M, I’m awake again
Singing to the dark through open eyes
While dreaming I see only you and me
Stuck between desire and compromise
If I said I want you back I’d be a liar
There’s nothing left of us to long for anymore
But inside the ashes burns an endless fire
And every night I can’t help reaching out for more
And I can’t sleep… You’re so far away from me
You’re leaving me scars scattered in my heart
A road map of all the places you have been
And I can’t escape, can’t wash this away
Love has burned your mark so deep within