I’m wide awake and dreaming
It’s 4.30 am and you’re sleeping
World is spinning ’round
In my lucid dream
I can hear your voice
Calling out my name
One last time.
In this endless moonless night
Where dreams have stopped
Eyes wide open
Longing for relief
Open wounds in my soul
Will they ever melt away?
Overcome and overrun
By memory of forgotten pain
Drowning, in a never-ending ocean
Tears shed, for a lifetime of emotion
Always here, always near.
Peace and Love,
“I own my story. No one else”
I just came came back from a Reiki session that went on for like 70 min. In the south of Stockholm there’s a place called Crea Diem which I found online in a spontaneous whim. I think my body knew that I needed this today. It was my birthday yesterday and every year has its ups and downs. All emotions were enhanced when I woke up this morning after. I always carry around a huge sorrow and melancholy in my chest which is hard to describe, and I guess I am not sure why either. Sometimes I think it’s just the combination of being a scattered Pisces with Libra moon. The struggle of the two fishes swimming in opposite directions for as long as I can remember.
The Reiki healing itself was exactly what I needed today to balance myself on these emotional days. After the session I was talking to the guy who performed the healing, and he was telling me what I should think about so I don’t get so low and all in my head with these thoughts and feelings. I didn’t need to tell him about my pain, it was visible in my heart. I should stop listening to what everyone else thinks and feels about my life and start tuning inwards and listen to what I want, because that is the hardest thing for me. I always get lost on the way of listening to other people who don’t even know the half of my inner true voice. Can you really expect anyone to ever know you completely? One thing I have noticed though is that the few people who have given me Reiki healing have always gotten to know my inner struggle and what I’m battling with constantly. It’s amazing how you can hide some things from everyone subconsciously but not at all from the ones who have practiced with the energy. He has my respect. The Reiki master. 🙏🏽
When the pain in your heart is slowly dissolving and trying to go away, it doesn’t go quietly. Tears are needed to flush away all the pain and suffering from all the accumulated years. I already feel a little lighter today.
Peace and love,
Poem: Creatures of the sea.
One thought. One dream. One soul.
You can hear my voice
Deep within my soul
Calling out your name
Swimming to the shore
As one we are together.
You can still hear me
Words are drowning in
My heart is yearning for
Peace of mind.
No matter the distance
No matter the time
We are always online
Creatures of the sea.
Jag måste få skriva ner lite tankar som dök upp medans Jonas Hassan Khemiri nämnde en sak på TV. Om en människa är vilsen eller förlorad, och inte har så många minnen kvar, skulle det synas på en kroppsscanning? Existerar minnen endast i min hjärna eller delar man minnen på en annan dimensionen med den man skapade minnena med? Om den person man skapat minnen med, inte existerar längre, försvinner även de minnena eftersom man är ensam om de nu?
/ Kimmi Madeline
It's been very inspiring to read other people's promises and goals to accomplish during the next coming year. I want to take a moment and document at least some of the things I would like to do and complete during the year of 2017. Without goals and something to look forward to it's easy to just get stuck in a wheel of the same mundane things.
(The list is not ordered chronologically.)
- Travel. A weekend in Berlin, London and Scotland is already on my list for short 3-4 day trips. Other trips will be planned depending on plans and/or business plans and vacations.
- Vipassana meditation. I really hope that I will be able to complete a Vipassana during a trip to India or in Sweden. I believe it might be more possible with India since I can go during next winter. I don't think there will be time for that during summer in Sweden; and I want to have good weather when I go to the Vipassana centre. I'd rather have that experience alone but I'll ask a friend or two if they want to join. Share the experience.
- Writing my book. I have had a long break from my book writing due to personal reasons. I need to reevaluate my story direction and almost start over my writing, unfortunately. I will make a plan for the book during my current India trip now in December 2016.
- Meditate daily. I know I've been having this on my list for ages, and it comes back every now and then, but it's crucial for my mental health to wind down and be peaceful on the inside.
- Exercise 2-3 times a week. Yoga, Pilates and weight training.
- Improve my stamina by starting to jog. Apply for a 5km run with a friend to have as a goal.
- Practice to be more mindful.
- Watch Darren Hayes' musical in London or somewhere in Europe whenever he is finished with it.
- See the one-man-band Assemblage 23 live for the first time (of many). Waited for around 8-9 years. Those lyrics he writes are some of the best in the genre of futurepop/EBM.
- Practice riding a bike and become more confident again. It's been years since I knew how to, and I guess you never really forget, I just need to be good at driving it in traffic as well.
- I don't plan on taking my driver's license during 2017, but I plan on practicing driving again and be more confident in traffic. I knew how to 2-3 years ago but that was before my laser eye surgery. Now I need to spend weekends every now and then to just get into the routine and then eventually when it's in my priority I will apply for and take the license.
What's your bucket list for 2017? Share and link to yours below so we can all take part and be inspired.
Peace and love,
It’s been 10 years and this song is still very dear to me. Above and Beyond – Can’t Sleep. It has a depth to it that is hard to explain, it’s not a normal radio trance song that is lacking soul and emotion. The melody, the transition and the lyrics – all melt together to an amazing and beautiful track. If you haven’t heard it, or don’t listen to trance, which I don’t do much anymore, still, give it a try – it’s worth it. Some of the lyrics are posted below together with a link to the track on Youtube.
Peace and Love,
Four thirty A.M, I’m awake again
Singing to the dark through open eyes
While dreaming I see only you and me
Stuck between desire and compromise
If I said I want you back I’d be a liar
There’s nothing left of us to long for anymore
But inside the ashes burns an endless fire
And every night I can’t help reaching out for more
And I can’t sleep… You’re so far away from me
You’re leaving me scars scattered in my heart
A road map of all the places you have been
And I can’t escape, can’t wash this away
Love has burned your mark so deep within
There’s an old tradition in India to look up the horoscope and analyse a newborn’s star sign to predict major happenings in his/her life. Despite being born in quite a modern Indian family, and being born in Sweden, I still received an analyse of my future life which is called a “Janmpatri”. It’s a booklet which is consisting of a lot of astrology readings. This might seem odd and quite frankly a bit dreamy, but it’s very common.
My booklet is written in Hindi so I can’t unfortunately read it myself without the help of my parents. I know of some of the incidents which are written in my booklet that should have already happened. The funny thing is that they’re usually very precise of when the happenings will occur. I got a little brother at the age of 8 after many years of waiting. That was written in the astrology booklet amongst other things. The age of when I’d get married and about boyfriends and how they’d be.
Being a Piscean I’ve always been interested in astrology and spiritual topics. I’ve always been a seeker looking for answers in my life. Why do some things happen? What are we here on Earth to do? What is the meaning of life? I asked these questions very early on in my teens and could lie awake at night just pondering on these life topics. I think it’s one of the things that has driven me to be more keen to always be open to new knowledge. It’s helped me tons.
One lady once did a tarot reading for me and unfortunately she thought I was already above 18 and at the time I was actually 16. I remember that her reading up until the age of 16 made a lot of sense, and it gave hints to what I had already been through. But when I continued reading it didn’t make a lot of sense anymore to me, it seemed to be wrong or something. I remember going back to her to let her know that I was 16 and I thought she might have mixed up my age.
The interesting part here is that I kept that letter with the tarot interpretation and left it for a few years before I accidentally saw it again after I was over 20. I was amazed and shocked at the same time. Those things, she had described happening around the age of 16-20, they had all come true, in one way or another.
One could argue that it was all in my sub-conscious but it only works for an extent, not the whole list of things. There were people I had met, people who’d hurt me and my mental state of mind – all of the things that I had no real control over (not that I was aware at least). I found it truly interesting that sometimes fate decides the path, if you only let it and you just keep moving forward.
Peace and Love,
I have always been a very reflective person who needs to slow down my everyday life to just think and meditate to be at peace. If I don’t get to have a moment to myself and have my space to reflect I feel uneasy and get anxiety very easily. It’s easy to just get caught in the daily chaos and forget to wind down and just take a deep breathe. I always get to remind myself of what is really important when I’m travelling or get a moment like that totally alone. Alone, yet surrounded by people all around me. Everyone in the same situation. So next time you’re travelling, plan ahead, find a special tune or song to listen to and just listen inwards. Take a deep breathe and just relax. Think about your blessings and count them. Think about the people you love and how much they mean to you. I like to daydream a lot (hello, I’m a Pisces) so I take the moment to think about nice memories or nice future memories that I’d like to come true. Thinking about how to achieve my dreams. All while having that special song in your headphones.
My airplane music is called Endless Skies by my favourite band in the whole world, VNV Nation.
That song is not a very typical representation of their sound, they’re more towards the industrial synth sound.
Let’s listen to this now, meditate and reflect on life:
What’s your airplane music?
Peace and Love,
I am finally announcing what my side-project is all about! I have for a while now been thinking of starting my own business, within something I’m passionate about. Too much time has passed since it was all thoughts and ideas, and I thought to myself that it’s time to not look back and just take action. I have been researching into all kinds of related subjects since this is a huge topic which mostly is pretty new to me. I’ve chosen an e-commerce platform to use and I chose Shopify. It seems pretty easy and scalable if and when the business becomes larger and you have a lot of products listed. I’m already super excited to get my e-boutique launched and be able to share it with all of you.
You might wonder what my shop is going to be selling. 🙂
I’ll be selecting unique and special pieces of jewelry (silver and other materials) and accessories from India, Thailand and South Asia, with an oriental and special design that I find too little of here in Sweden or in the West generally. Of course I will also buy in all kinds of popular trendy jewellery that can be used for an everyday look. I will begin with the Nordic region, and quite soon expand to ship to the whole Europe, and when I’m more stable I’ll include the whole wide world; so everyone can enjoy a piece of the East in the West.
I’m also looking into specializing in more cool Indian accessories that I can easily get hold of when I travel to India next time. More focus on quality material that is specific to India and that region, which is great for scarfs, clothes and accessories.
The second aspect, and the key to my business is that portions of the sales will be donated to charity organisations I’ve chosen to work with. One of my greatest wishes for the world is for it to be less poverty, and I can only do so much on my own with my contributions to try to work towards changing the world. Therefore I would like to ask for your help to help the world, to give back to the society and to help people in need. The smallest gesture can help, buying a piece of jewellery from my shop will contribute to charity organisation working specifically with women and helping them getting a solid income so they can provide for their family and themselves; thus becoming more independent.
UPDATE in Aug -16: Due to some delays in some tasks the launch of the online jewellery shop will be planned for to the end of this year (2016). I will be sharing more details regarding the business as I get closer to launch date. Stay tuned!
Peace and Love,
I’ve recently moved to Stockholm and this is my first move outside of my own city, which wasn’t that bad or small or anything (it was 2nd largest in Sweden) – this is just much larger. I love the feeling I get now when I walk the streets and I have to explore and recognise buildings to be able to find myself to places, otherwise you get too comfortable with your surroundings and you get to do the same thing over and over in the same old city you already know by heart. It’s easy to become that comfortable person who takes the same tram or train that they know will take them home and never try to find new ways or shortcuts, but this time I’m working on not being that person and find myself new ways every day.
Too many people I’ve worked with in the past in Gothenburg have been those types of people; the ones that would only do things they’re comfortable with and used to do. I know everyone is different and what I’m doing right now might not be everyone’s cup of tea – the idea of moving somewhere else and start a new life might be terrifying to many people. But I just did it, and right now it’s not as terrifying as I thought it might be. As long as you have some people around you that you care about, it’s a good start.
I’ll be updating more as I get more acquainted with the city and the life here.
Peace and Love,